Measuring fish is not a science; it’s an art form. Establishing the length of a trout, for example, should never be confined to a one-dimensional instrument such as an ordinary ruler. Rulers, after all, are made and designed by mortals and are thus subject to error.
I caught a brook trout on the Moorman’s River one day, removed the hook and gently released him back into the pool. A passer-by noticed and commented on how tiny that trout was.
“What do you mean, tiny?” I asked.
“Well, that fish couldn’t have been more than five inches, and that’s stretching it,” he responded.
“Five inches? That brookie was a solid 15-incher. I bet you didn’t count the circles,” I said.
“Circles? What circles?” He puzzled
“Why, those magnificent scarlet circles on his flank. I give a trout an extra quarter-inch for each of those brilliant markings. The fish I just released had about 20 on each side. Let’s see, 20 times a quarter-inch times two? That’s 10 inches right there. As I said, that was a 15 inch brook trout,” I responded
“Good point. I’ll remember to count the circles next time I catch one,” said the by-stander as he hiked on up the road.
Whereas most fishermen drastically underestimate the length of brook trout, they are even more prone to error when it comes to measuring a smallmouth bass. I have seen fellow fishermen assign only 11 inches to what was easily an 18-inch smallmouth. They forgot to count the jumps. An 11-inch smallmouth that goes airborne seven times is worth a foot and a half in my book. Isn’t one of those mighty leaps worth a lousy inch? Let’s give credit where credit is due.
And how silly it is to measure a largemouth with a plastic ruler taped to the side of the boat. The length might read 14 inches, but when a bass hits a top water plug early in the morning, with fog gently lifting from the lake, heck, that’s worth an extra six inches easily. If the lake is clear and the geese are nesting nearby, I always add another four inches to my catch. If you’ve got your grandson in the boat with you, why they don’t make rulers long enough to measure a fish like that.
And flounder? Hardly anybody knows how to measure a nice flounder. If you’re on the Bay and the water is gently lapping at the side of the boat when your rod goes down from a flounder bite, add two inches. If your best friend netted the fish for you, that’s good for another four inches per flounder. One morning I recall catching a dozen 24-inch flounder. Funny, but when my friend moved to South Carolina, the flounder were never quite as large.
How silly we are to measure important things in life with inert instruments. How much value do we assign to a beautiful sunrise? How much bigger is that first fish of the season?
Count the circles, count the leaps, count the laughs shared in a fishing boat and count the thrill of a fish slapping a top water plug. Throw away that ruler and measure each fish with your heart.
When you do that, there is no such thing as a five-inch brook trout.
—Contact Jim Brewer at j44brewer@gmail.com
April 08, 2021 at 07:00PM
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